Never Fit In…

Ever had that problem when you never feel part of the herd.

I, for one, have always enjoyed the distinction of being the oddball. At home, my impulsive reading sets me apart from my physically active counterparts, through school and college I struggled to find a fit, experimenting with various groupies to determine my fit. I wasn’t hi-fi: nothing hippie or groovy about me; not the freak-out kind either- parties are alright once in a while, but I prefer my bedtime reading any day. Was never a geek either; I got good grades but nothing to categorize me to the genius cadre; sports were an extinct pastime as far as I was concerned- the safest game was one that involved only mental faculties- this ended my association with the field too. I had a passion for reading fiction. That allowed me to survive isolation for what is company to a good story. I even tried the gossip-monger club but my social status kept my stories on the mildly entertaining segment- I lacked the storyteller touch.

One thing I was proficient at was language- I could pen poems without much effort- ones that rhymed, possessed some meter and dwelt on a single subject. This, I used that to my advantage. Somehow people warmed up to the idea of having poetry written on them. And thus I amassed a circle of friends. Amongst them again, there were those I was willing to tear myself from a book for and those whom I was tolerated, barely, as part of a group. Even though now I was connected to people, I still relished the times when I was by myself- all alone in class eating my home-packed lunch. Nothing mattered as long as there was a tale. And there were those gut-wrenching times when I had to harbor the silence and solitude, yearning with all my heart for a friend. Never did I fit…

But over the past few years, it has changed. I have friends I know and who know me. Not because of what I write but because I’m me. Because I have certain traits that make me akin to them. Though we’re separated, I still know there’s one group I can always fall back on. One bunch of people who’ll worry about me, call me and think of me now and then. When that happens- an unexpected call from the blue, that’s when I know where I fit…