"Treat"-ise

Treats - the Universal equiliser...Any institution or organization developes an informal sense of bonding over Treats- friendships are made for life- as are the number and range of treats owed as well.. Birthdays, joining dates, anniversaries, promotions. bonuses and a dozen other obscure and insignificant happenings eagerly counted upon by members of the Treat group as a chance for free food, booze and banter..

Treats are a modern take on Sacrifices- In the olden days Kings used to give away free stuff for people to bless/ wish them good, especially after a conquest; over the years with pollution preventing open fires and music being digitized, all thats left for a person is to find people to accept the humble offerings. Thus treats are nothing but the new generations way of rpeserving our ancient heritage. Treats provide unbound happiness for the Treatees (the people at the receiving end) and a philosophical bend of mind for the Treaters (the guys paying the bill). Certains strings (actually quite a number) are attached-

1> The Event shalt Not be called upon by the Treater:- Occasions for treats are not decided by the Treater but rather their importance and the social stadning the event accosts is determined by the Treatees- since they will be honoring the Treaters by simply partaking of their offering.
2> Treats wilt be decideth by the Treatees:- The Venue and the "offerings" are likewise deliberated upon by the Treatees, since their time is being imposed upon to actually take an effort to dress up, move and attend the Treat being given. Food- exotic or at least something new and untried, drinks and a minimum of three courses are a must. The Sacrifice will involve a humbled and nervous Treater who awaits with dread the dishes and things his Treatees suddenly develop fetishes for- treats are the right places to try out your first chopsticks, order food that you have no clue about and chuck it if you don't like it- after all the treater foots the bill right??
3> The Treater shalt not enjoy the Treat- the true purpose of a treat is lost if the Treater joins in the revelry.. And what better way to cause a loss of appetite than ordering enormous quantities of food, wasting it and ordering more (;)).. The person with the largest appetite is invariably seated next to the Treater- this is yet another golden rule; it enables a healthy comparison of the frugal state of the Treater's plate with that of his more liberal companions and becomes the butt of most jokes. The Treater, no matter how gluttonous on normal days, invariably becomes a calorie conscious souciant on the ill-fated day of the Treat. He cannot, for the life of him, swallow a morsel- this three to five hour ordeal gives him leave to ruminate on all the treats he's been part of and also keep track of how much who has consumed for future Treate reference.. It gives him a chance to contemplate on the event and its insignificance; providing insights on the depths of care to which his friends have gone to ensure he will Not ever forget it for the rest of his life...
4> The Treat shalt exceed the Budget :- This clause states that if at the end of the Treat, the Treater heaves a sigh of relief then some emergency situation be presented and ensured that a sudden craving for ice cream or burger be issued forth by one or more of the Treatees and supported by the rest in order to ensure that the Treater "feel" the aftermath of having shelled it out in his pocket, mind and heart.. And revel in the fact that this sort fo event occurs only Once each year.. Else the Treatees will have to ensure that the next treat in line crosses the limit outrageously... Thus the onus of raising the bar on this Treat lies squarely on the shoulders of the next Treater-in-line..
5> Treats shalt be marked by novelty :- ever wanted to eat Korean food?? check out what casa en toulera exactly was??? Treats mark the first chopsticks, the first cocktail, for many Treatees and new inductees who invariably occupy the Treater position.. Treats offer a socially acceptable reason to freak out!!! A treat is remarks an undeniably banal incident in the life of the Treater as a reason to add some spice into the life of other disillusioned mortals.. :)

Treats are the only form of chain activities that guarantee assured returns manifold the expense served- in terms of entertainment value and good times.. If you treat 10 people, each of the ten owes a treat and hence free victuals for some ten days of the year for the most obscure reasons cited.. A Treat also increases the feel-good factor, once you've been a Treater you can enjoy the joys of ripping someone off as a Treatee in many more occasions before your turn finally comes around, thus satisfying the inherent need of mankind to do unto others as they've done to yourself (multiplied the number of people in the room at the Treat)..

With these simple tenets I leave you to discover the joys and tribulations of the Treating circles.. Stop reading, go forth and do it yourself..